Monopoly

When you read this you will be dying to play Monopoly.

Bottom line: if you do not enjoy Monopoly the board game you are one of  two things.

1) Stupid
2)Not well versed in Monopoly

There is a third scenario in which maybe you are neither of these two and you find yourself playing stupid people or those not well versed in the game.

There is so much more to the game than rolling the dice and buying property. Never in the history of games (board games, video games, hide and seek etc.) is there a game more mentally demanding and a window into human nature. This may sound like I'm being dramatic but if your a serious Monopoly player you know this is no stretch of the truth.

Let's begin.

First of all when a bunch of idiots play Monopoly the luckiest will win ALWAYS WINS. This is no fun. This is why most people don't like the game. This game is about as interesting as a game of dice itself. If you find yourself in one of these games STOP PLAYING.

Secondly every player participating must absolutely ABHOR losing. It must be the last option at all times.

Now in a real game of Monopoly against formidable and intelligent opponents luck still plays it "role" (pun) and there is no avoiding chance. Bottom line is there are better places to land than others and the roller has no control over that. But I can tell you from someone who has been playing for 15+ years "luck" plays about a 15-20% chance of winning. If you really want to win in Monopoly you need to master this other 80-85%.

This other 80-85% is comprised of so many many things let me take a crack at it

Deception - My friends seem to believe that all my deals are rooted in deception. Some are some aren't. But if you think you can get the steal take it. Quickest route to victory. I do not enjoy deceiving new players. But if I can get a rival it is SWEEEEEET.

Reason- Sometimes you are offering another player a necessary deal for both you and him and he wont always see it and you must convince him it is absolutely necessary. (If playing with intelligent players: all the while refuting the points of an outsider that will loose positioning if the deal happens)

Assessment- You have to keep mental tabs through out the whole game of "who's in the lead" "who's my biggest threat" "who can help me" "who needs me" "who do I need"

Awareness- YOU MUST ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION. One bad deal goes on while your not intervening and BOOM you lost.

Foresight- You have to see will I win with the greens? do I have enough money to put houses on them? will I have enough money to land on someone else property? Is this property alone capable of winning? Can I bankrupt someone or make them take off houses by the time I come around?

Carpetbagging/Venture capitalism-  You have to take advantage of weaker opponents. And think long ball. Sometimes people land on your property and the best decision for you isn't just taking the money. Sometimes the opposite is the case. " hey how about you keep your houses on your property and keep some chance in this game instead gimmie those light blues and I'll pardon your debt AND give you 200 dollars" youve now given him a fighting chace but secured yourself as head honcho.

Friendship/enemies- Every game your friends and enemies should change. It's about their position in the game not their character

Opponent knowledge- Playing with the same people over and over again only adds dynamic to the game. You know what property he likes what deals he's more likely to accept. how far he's willing to go. His pride and customs can be used against him.

Innovation- Deals and stipulations aren't always obvious. You really need to get creative. " I'll give you this railroad but if you land on this property you have to buy it and give it to me" Renato and Balacov came up with a genius one yesterday that I wanted to say was illegal so bad because I didnt think of it. They each had two railroads so instead of when someone lands on it they pay them fifty dollars, they combined them and split the profit 100 each. Increasing each others surface area and profit. I'm tight (actually ended up bankrupting me because of it)

Timing- Sometimes you can have all the property or money you want, when it's too late, it's too late. Your fate is sealed.

Honestly could keep going on and on because there is just so much nuance in the game that call for tailored actions but I'll stop here. Monopoly is truly one of the greatest games of all time. If you dont know how to play i recommend you watch a few times and your still gunna suck for the first few times but trust me it's worth learning (I dont wanna play with you while your learning though.)

If you walk away with anything please let it be this,. Monopoly is much more than a game of luck. If you know how to play it should end in about an hour give or take. Like all crafts learning sucks but mastering it is rewarding. And I am the greatest player of all time.


(Idk how I am so careless with money in real life and not uberly competative either, but when I play Monopoly I adopt the mindset of some billionare white man who has no care for mankinds well being.)